Paging Strunk & White
In honor of his new...er..."masterpiece"...the Telegraph offers its picks for celebrated hack author Dan Brown's 20 worst sentences.

A few of my favorites:

• 17. Deception Point, chapter 8: Overhanging her precarious body was a jaundiced face whose skin resembled a sheet of parchment paper punctured by two emotionless eyes.
  
  (Telegraph comment: "It’s not clear what Brown thinks ‘precarious’ means here.")
  
  
• 16. The Da Vinci Code, Chapter 4: A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.
  
  (Telegraph comment: "A silhouette with white hair and pink irises stood chillingly close but 15 feet away. What’s wrong with this picture?")
  
  
• 14. Angels and Demons, chapter 100: Bernini's Fountain of the Four Rivers glorified the four major rivers of the Old World - The Nile, Ganges, Danube, and Rio Plata.
  
  (Telegraph comment: "The Rio de la Plata. Between Argentina and Uruguay. One of the major rivers of the Old World. Apparently.")
  
  
• 9. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 32: The vehicle was easily the smallest car Langdon had ever seen. "SmartCar," she said. "A hundred kilometers to the liter."
  
  (Telegraph comment: "Pro tip: when fleeing from the police, take a moment to boast about your getaway vehicle’s fuel efficiency. And get it wrong by a factor of five. SmartCars do about 20km [12 miles] to the litre.")